procrastination
Ah, procrastination. The foe and/or inspiration of everyone tasked with achieving an objective. Here we sit ten days from Christmas, and my sense of denial is deep regarding all that must be accomplished in the next week in a half. Experience says that it all will get done, it’s just going to get very ugly in the process.
Why oh why do I procrastinate? It’s because the adrenaline that flows just before a deadline fuels my creative spirit. When faced with deadlines that allow me plenty of lead time, my writing is never spread into manageable morsels. Instead, I experience a period of tranquility, when I relish the fact that I have the project and loosely consider paths to pursue. That turns into small steps of organization when I outline what I should be doing, without doing any of it. Then the mood morphs into full-on panic.
Searing, blinding panic.
How did I get here again? Why do I always do this to myself? I can’t do it this time!